10 Great Online Dating Tips - Online Dating Advice/Tips/Tricks

So you just singed up for your first online dating site and am wondering where do I go from here? It's 2012 and online dating has lost much of the negative connotations and weirdness that was once attached to it. 

That now means that a man can now scour the Internet for anything from a one night stand to a soul mate with just the click of a mouse. That said it doesn't mean online dating is easy. The ratio of men to women is stacked against you and women are flooded with so many messages you really need to stand out to get a response let alone a date. 

If you want to save yourself some time, energy, frustration and heartache over that hottie that passed you by then read on...

10. Pay Attention To What Works...

I'm sure you've heard the old adage if it's not broke don't fix it. This is true of online dating as well. If you've tried one method of contacting women or conversing with women that works better than others stick with it.

That doesn't mean you can't try a new approach from time to time to see if something works better but in general stick with what works and follow the trends.

At time I notice a thoughtful message that's a little longer and where you tell about some common interests you share helps and shows her you read her profile but other times I find a short one sentence random off the wall comment or question will illicit more responses. The types of messages that work tend to change from time to time and from person to person. 

Try some new strategies but stick with what works. 

9. Don't Trust Their Photos

Don't trust their photos but more specifically don't trust their best photos. I can't tell you how many times I have seen a profile photo and said what a hottie, only to click their profile and find that the rest of their photos look nothing like that photo that caught my attention.

Could be anything from that being a glamor shot from when they were all dolled up, to a ten year old picture, to them just having been caught at the perfect angle but oftentimes photos are deceiving. 

Take a look at their worst photo and ask yourself if that's someone you want to date. If you answer yes then proceed.

8. Grammar & Spelling Counts 

I can tell you for a fact that grammar and spelling count. How can I tell you this you ask? Because many women state outright in their profile "Don't contact me if you can't spell"...or..."Don't contact me if you don't know the difference between your and you're."

Sure it's online and sure you use "web speak" in other online venues but for online dating show your educated, intelligent, and know how to put together a coherent sentence with proper spelling. 

Once you've exchanged a few messages and they know you've passed the fourth grade you can ease up on the proper grammar and spelling but make a good first impression and use those skills you learned way back in grade school.

7. It's Like Fishing - Cast A Wide Net  

First things first it's a numbers game just like sales or even approaching women at the bar for that matter. The more women you approach the more chances you have at getting a response. Just like in sales; you often hear "you have to hear 10 No's before you hear a yes."

Also, refrain from judging profiles too quickly, even if they lack some of the information you're...did you notice I used "you're" properly, that's how it's used...hoping for.

You should also not make your search criteria so narrow you miss out on a great catch...pardon another fishing pun.

6. Use Good Photos

A photo is going to be the first thing people notice about you so if you don't have good photos you can forget about them even taking the time to click or read your profile.

Common sense would dictate use up to date photos, clear photos, and photos that show your face as well as body from numerous angles. Think about when your shopping for a car. When you only see one photo or low light photos you wonder what the seller is trying to hide. The same goes when searching for a match on an online dating site.

I could do an entire write-up about photos for online dating but we'll keep it short and sweet and touch on a few more points. Action photos work. If your good at something or have an activity your interested in showcase yourself doing that very thing.  Photos of you with women aren't bad to have either as long as it's clear the women isn't a significant other and as long as it doesn't come off as douchish. It shows women that other women like and trust you as well as enjoy your company. 

Lastly and this should come as no surprise but choose photos that you look good in. One more interesting point before we move on. Personally I think photos of you smiling show you to be friendly, open, and trustworthy however a recent study by the University of British Columbia found that women actually find men who are NOT smiling to be more attractive. 

5. Don't Showcase Negative Photos

First things first, don't showcase photos that make you look like a douche bag. If in doubt don't post it. It also doesn't hurt to have a buddy or even a female friend take a look at your photos and give the final approval.

Keep in mind things that may be perceived as a negative that you may not otherwise think about. If your taking a bathroom mirror short make sure there's not a turd floating in your toilet, make sure there's not beard clippings or toothpaste all over your sink. Little things like that may slip past the average dude but are often noticed by a women. 

Lastly just use common sense. Don't post anything too sophomoric, questionable, weird, or showing off.

4. Keep Your Profile Updated

Update your profile as well as your pictures regularly; for a variety of reasons. First off someone who passed you by the first time may not realize it's you and take a second look. Secondly oftentimes if someone is up on a site for an extended period of time some women think they are a serial dater and not looking for something serious. And thirdly, on most sites updating your profile will make you higher up on the main page of the site or closer to the top when someone does a search looking for a match. 

3. Be Ready For Anything

As the Boy Scouts say always be prepared, I think they say that at least; actually I don't know though I've never been a Boyscout. 

Anyhow, main lesson here is expect the unexpected.

Some people just don't look like their photos. This could potentially be a good thing or a bad thing but be prepared for it. If she's blatantly misled you then you have reason to be not only because you've been duped into dating this women you otherwise would have not dated, but also because honesty is important and it's already missing from the get go.

You might luck out as well though, she may wind up looking even better than her pictures. I suppose some people just aren't photogenic but look great in person. Just try to keep yourself form having diarea of the mouth and blurting out something like "Oh my, you are so hot! I really wasn't expecting that!" Although a "I wasn't really sure what to expect, but I am pleasantly surprised." isn't a bad way to go.

2. Don't Get Frustrated

When browsing online dating profiles it's a lightening fast process. Take a quick glance at a postage stamp size photo and make a snap judgement about whether or not to click the profile. It's a lightening fast affair and your bound to get passed over, don't get discouraged. You'll be passed over dozens, hundred, maybe millions of times but that's fine because here and there you will meet someone and share some type of connection.

I can only speak from personal experience and I've been passed over more times than I can count and I don't get nearly the number of responses I would like to. 

I'm a good looking guy. I don't think I'm gods gift to women nor do I think I'm the hottest guy out there but I would I'm above average in the looks department, stay fit and in shape have a six pack and take care of myself, and though I'm not the richest or most successful guy out there I have my shit together, have a job, house and car at a relatively young age but I still get passed over on a daily basis. 

Don't let yourself get discouraged. Try different messages, try contacting different types of women, try changing up your profile. It takes time but you'll meet people and make connections.

1. No Post Pics Of Yourself W/O A Shirt

Odd that this section will be so long but I find the whole "controversy" surrounding shirtless pics to be very funny as well as interesting. A psychology student could probably write their college thesis on the shirtless bathroom mirror pic, both on why they are posted as well as the response they illicit. 

The general consensus seems to be that posting a shirtless bathroom mirror pic screams douche bag. I've actually seen women say in their profile don't bother messaging them if you have one on your profile and seen dudes clown on other dudes who have them.

Posting a shirtless bathroom mirror pic will definitely turn some women off to messaging you back or getting to know you but personally I don't think that's all bad. As they say if you got it flaunt it. I think most of the dudes clowning on guys are just jealous they don't have abs that can cut diamonds and girls seem to say dudes who post these pictures are douche bags but nobody seems to have a problem with women and their bikini shorts or the rules that all photos must be taken at a 45 degree angle downwards to fully capture their cleavage.

Shirtless pics of a guy doing an activity seem to be frowned upon, though generally slightly more well received. I personally find this funny as it's just as transparent and those guys are posting them for the same reason and hoping for the same response as a guy posting a bathroom mirror pic. 

In general it's probably best not to post one. In full disclosure I must say that I have one on my profile, and I've actually found there are some benefits to having one. 

First off I'm active, stay in shape and appreciate the same in my partner. Having a picture like this lets them know this upfront. I've actually had women I've messaged message me back and say I like you and your profile, I just wanted to let you know that I'm thick; or am carrying a few extra pounds.

If you stay in shape it's probably a big part of your lifestyle and you probably look for the same in a partner and having a photo like this tends to weed out some people who don't share the same values. 

One last thing. I was recently on a first date and this topic came up. I joked with her about I'm surprised she messaged me back because of my "cheesy shirtless bathroom mirror pic." Her response was "you obviously take care of yourself, if you got it flaunt it."